I’ve never heard silence quite this loud

You can always hear the silence in other people’s laughter
but when someone asks you if you remember his name,
you swear you can feel the loud in the memory of his smile.
And when they ask if you regret the morning coffee
you go back to the white linen cloth
and the rise of steam
and the grey of his eyes and
how day after day you’d walk into the hurricane.
You’d never say the 6 letter word
because given a choice
you’d beat yourself black and blue
and drown into the waves that break you.
A love isn’t a love
until it engraves burn marks on your heart
and this love left you with a burning cigarette
and you’ve been smoking ever since.
The sun hasn’t risen yet
and you’re sleeping with your eyes open
but it’s their quiet you’re deciphering
and never the reason for your own.

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